I Went to a Black-Owned Sex Party and This Is What Happened… | Cocoa Muscovado
I stepped out of the Uber onto a quiet and unassuming street in the heart of the city. The sky was dark, the rain was pouring, and I was clutching my umbrella, wearing a white puff dress to hide the spicy little outfit beneath it. I stood across the street from the venue, watching as people in varying shades of melanin, in long coats and pedestrian clothes giggled quietly and looked cautiously about before knocking on the plain door. A stocky security guard ushered them inside with a smile and I caught a glimpse of more brown bodies behind him. My excitement spiked, dulling the nervous feeling that had been building on the drive over. This was gonna be an interesting night.
Since my first foray into adult parties, you guys have been asking me continuously, “Where are the parties for black people?” Though I knew of parties, I’d never been to one myself, so this year I’m finally exploring the black sex party scene for you, so you know what your options are and which events I recommend.
When Cocoa Muscovado extended an invite to their ‘Cocoa Lust: Lace, Latex, Leather’ party, I accepted and invited one of my girls (she’d unburdened herself of her former partner and was ready to live her best heaux life -we love that for her).
I’ve attended sex parties before, but at those parties, most attendees were white people. As a POC, particularly as a black woman/femme/NB, it’s not uncommon for many of us to feel invisible/undesirable/fetishised/generally uncomfortable in those spaces. That is not the case with Cocoa Muscovado, an adult party that centres women of colour and the people who love them (who can be any ethnicity).
DRESS CODE
As with most sex parties, you must adhere to the dress code or risk being turned away. This means everyone must make an effort. Everyone making an effort sets the vibe and helps you feel more comfortable in whatever you decide to wear (or not wear). The theme being Lace, Leather and Latex gave us a lot of wiggle room when it came to choosing an outfit, which is nice, especially if you are new to the scene and don’t want to splash your cash on expensive fetish wear that you’re not sure you’ll wear again. If you’re stuck for what to wear, the CM team provide Pinterest inspo boards to help you out.
Like the lovely ladies we are, we both chose ‘lace’. I opted for an all-white, burlesque meets kawaii ensemble that consisted of a frilly brocade corset, ruffled bloomer shorts with ribbons and a lace trim, crotchless bow tights, long ribbons in my hair and silver and pearl jewellery. In contrast, my friend wore all black. It was her first party and she wasn’t sure how comfortable she’d be in something super revealing, but she is very much in her sensual feminine energy, so she wore a crotchless lace catsuit over a bra and shorts with platform heeled ankle boots.
TICKET PROCESS
Cocoa Muscovado is a members-only event. Before attending a CM party, you are required to fill out a screening form, which includes your general contact info, your social media handles, an image of yourself, a bit about you and a section on consent. Your information is not shared with anybody outside of the CM team. After that you will be scheduled in for a call so the CM team can get to know you better, to evaluate if they will accept your membership application or not.
Some people may be put off by providing their personal info as they would prefer to be completely anonymous for events like this, but these protocols are for safety precautions. It serves to hold people accountable for their actions within the parties. I’ve heard horror stories about unsavoury incidents at less regulated parties (including mainstream ones). This screening process helps to prevent that happening.
CM parties are open to all genders and sexualities who are interested in WOC. Once your membership application is accepted you will then be sent a link to purchase tickets. Pricing for CM events start from:
£35 for Women/Femme/Non-Binary
£55 for Men/Masc/Non-Binary
£60 for Allies/Supporters (Non-POC)
Once your purchase is complete, you’ll be sent the address and a link to a group chat so that you and the other attendees can get to know each other. The group chat was a good addition as it gave you a better idea of what type of people would be there and created a sense of community. The group admin presented an icebreaker question which encouraged everyone to talk a little about themselves from their kinks to their favourite TV shows. Everyone was friendly, a little naughty but very respectful of each other. It also provided a peek into the black adult party community, as quite a few people knew each other from other parties on the POC adult party circuit.
I’ve never attended a party that required such a thorough screening process before. It has been more along the lines of buying a ticket, being presented with the event rules and turning up, but I appreciated that CM took the time and care to do this. It made me feel more reassured about being in a safe space because I knew the guest list was curated.
FIRST IMPRESSIONS
My friend arrived 10 minutes after me, clutching her long coat around her outfit, already merry from the liquid courage she’d consumed in the Uber. We crossed the road and entered Beneath Barbican, a dungeon run by Seren Sins and Master Peter, with our bottles of alcohol in hand (it’s BYOB).
My job requires me to be at a lot of sex-positive events and most of the time I’m one of few, if not the only black woman in the room, so it was fucking glorious to enter an adult space and see so many sex-positive people of colour dressed fabulously in next to nothing. There were around 60 attendees, so though the venue was full it wasn’t too overwhelming.They were adorned in shiny skintight latex, leather trousers and harnesses strung with metal buckles, D rings and studs, lacy lingerie in an array of shades, nipple pasties, cuffs, collars, bodysuits, cat suits, corsets and more (or less). There was no feeling of being ‘other’, no worrying about being fetishised or my body being out of place…just regular, everyday mild sex party anxiety lol.
The sounds of Ciara’s ‘Body Party’ floated through the space, which was a very welcome change to the monotonous ‘oontz oontz’ music played at mainstream parties. We were greeted at the entrance by the CM team where we were checked in (ID is required) before being sent to the changing area to unveil our lewks. After that we were taken on a tour of the venue.
Beneath Barbican was a sleek townhouse transformed into a play space. The ground floor housed the changing area and an observation deck, which looked down onto the fully stocked dungeon on the basement level. The dungeon was dimly lit and included a St Andrews cross, spanking benches, a cage, a bed and loads of BDSM toys. They also supplied condoms (unprotected penetrative sex is not allowed at CM events unless it’s between partners), massage oil, lubricant, antibacterial wipes and penis shaped sweets.
The first floor was the social area, where we handed in our bottles and were given wristbands. There was a bar with staff serving drinks, snacks and water for those who came empty-handed. People were sprawled out on sofas and milling about, striking up conversation over the sounds of smooth RnB music.
The door to the top floor was manned by security as the stair led to the play area, which only people who were engaging in play were allowed to venture. The play area had low lighting, and several beds laid across the ground with more amenities available for those who needed them.
THE EXPERIENCE
After the tour, everyone was gathered for the introductory talk in which all the CM staff were introduced, party rules were outlined (consent is mandatory, no phones/recording, be respectful of the space and each other, practice safe sex) and they ran us through the itinerary, which included two performances by the House Domme for the night, Dea Hel (@worship_hel).
Unlike parties I’d previously attended, CM puts an emphasis on the socialising aspect, keeping the playroom closed for a while so everyone can get to know each other. This makes sense with their core ethos, as they started as a community group who hosted social events for POC in the adult party scene and later moved on to hosting their own play parties.
When performance time came, we all gathered in or above the dungeon. Dea Hel had her scantily clad sub stretched out over a piece of equipment. She artfully bound her body with shibari rope during one session, then spanked and teased her with a variety of instruments and engaged in some electro play (a la air crackling cattle prod) in the next, to the tune of atmospheric opera music -it’s giving cultured!
I always find it a little bit weird group-watching sex acts at first (not that it deters me lol), because as entertaining as it is, it still carries the taboo of something that we’re told should be conducted in a more private setting. My mind wanders to inane thoughts like, ‘Someone in here definitely has a boner,’ and ‘Don’t look too hard at the performers. People will think you’re a pervert’ -both of which are probably true. Eventually I get over myself, because we’re all here for the same purpose -to explore our sexuality -and taboo or not, sex is fascinating.
I really wanted to try a cattle prod afterwards.
I set my friend loose (she kept trying to entice one of the security guards, even though there was a building full of available men…we’ll unpack that later lol), whilst I spent the night yapping away and longingly observing what was happening in the dungeon from the viewing deck, wishing it was me strapped to the cross getting flogged.
As my partner was absent (and our relationship isn’t open), I didn’t engage in any play, but that didn’t stop me from enjoying myself. Everyone was so nice, they all looked amazing, the drinks were flowing, the music was right up my alley and the performances kept us entertained. It was like a grown ‘n’ sexy house party…where people were openly fucking. Please note that it’s not by force that you MUST have sex at a sex party. There are plenty of people who attend parties who may only socialise and observe, so if you choose to go to one, know that there is no pressure. You do whatever you are comfortable with.
As the night wore on, people dispersed to the playrooms and the crowd was much more relaxed. The CM staff checked in with everyone throughout the night and made sure that we were all being respectful of the people who were playing together. We had so much fun that we stayed until it ended.
FINAL THOUGHTS
If you’re interested in trying a POC-centred sex party for the first time, or if you’ve never been before, I recommend giving Coco Muscovado a go (I will be returning for another round).
Their next event, Cocoa Casino Royale, is on Saturday 30th November 2024. It’s a ‘black-tie James Bond Casino Royale/Montecarlo/Las Vegas casino mélange’ themed mansion party in central London, from at 8:30pm (last entry 10:30pm) to 3:00am.
They also run day parties and strictly social events, so make sure that you follow them to stay up to date with what they have going on, @CocoaMuscovado on Instagram and X (Twitter).