My Carnival 2017

Hey fancy faces. I hope you all had an excellent bank holiday weekend filled with everything that's bad for you in excess.

I had an amazing time; heaux I was drunk as fuck, high as hell, and filled with good vibes and bad intentions. Notting Hill 2017 is definitely one for the records. As I type this I still have paint in my hair and under my nails, my hips are aching from all of the wukkin’ up and sluttery, and I'm pretty sure I'm still slightly intoxicated from last night.

This year, me and my girls (and my mum coz she's tun up), had the absolute pleasure of jumping with Jus Jab, one of the hypest, dutty mas bands on road. It was LIT! Everyone was free up and getting on bad, and unlike my last time playing mas (Wotless, 2015), I didn't end the day exhausted and out of breath on someone's doorstep (as my mum likes to remind me non-stop because she doesn’t want me to shine). Nope, on nothing but two hours of sleep and (a LOT of) alcohol as my only sustenance throughout the day, I ran wild with my bad behaviour up till the end, and bitch, it felt fucking excellent.

The body positivity was strong this year, too. Sticking with the #WearItChallenge, we pushed our outfits waaaaaayyyyyyy out of our comfort zones. Jus Jab were selling £60 bodysuit packages, but we're are some financially responsible (cheap) ass bitches, so we purchased the £40 t-shirt packages...then wore our own bodysuits for free, because you ain't about to trick me into giving away my money when I don't need to (save them coins, sis). Our sizes ranged from 8-18 and every bitch in the squad looked like confident stripper-heaux extravaganza (no eleganza coz wasn't shit elegant about giving these menzis the wuk of their lives in these skreetz). It was fantastic and freeing.

This lifestyle change has given me so much more energy. My stamina and my endurance was put to the test at carnival and I really felt the benefits of eating better and most importantly, working out. I actually felt HEALTHY…well healthier. I’ve still got some more work to do, but today I’m celebrating this win. Even better was that the following day (after waking up naked after I passed out on my sofa bed -still in sofa mode -with dry skin and my towel on the floor) I was still able to move without feeling like I was being punished for being a festival slut. In the past, the day after carnival has always been hell on my body. Everything would hurt from my big toe to my eyelids. This year, there was a dull ache in my hip but nothing that made me wince. This is a fucking achievement.

Deciding to take on this lifestyle change has been the best (and worst because I still don’t like the gym) thing for me. I appreciate it a lot more now because it’s making me realise how much I was unable to do before that I can now. I'm looking forward to where I will be next year -even more fit/trouble and comfortably wearing a revealing costume (goals).

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