If you follow me on social media you already know that a heaux’s favourite thing in the world is being extra as fuck. I adore statement pieces that give your shit an indulgent dose of lavishness, but sometimes lavish is expensive. Living on a pre-rich (coz we don’t believe in broke) budget shouldn’t mean that you have to miss out on your eleganza, so I’ve created this G.I.Y (Glam It Yourself…it’s like DIY but fancy) blog series for all the pre-rich, fancy bitches who want to know how to do the most, for less.
Flowers are one of the simplest and most beautifully elegant touches that can be made to any and everything -seriously! One day I was doing heaux is life with Mr; I caught our reflection in the mirror and the flowers in my centrepiece were covering our private parts (I know...totally romantic). I went from feeling like a high class hooker to a work of classy black renaissance art, and all because flowers.
If you’re like me, you’re low key lazy and don’t have the patience to maintain real flowers coz they die and shit, and if this is true, then heaux, artificial flowers are for you!
When it comes to making floral centrepieces you can use any artificial flowers that you like, but coz we’re tryna do the most but keep it lavish, I recommend taking a trip to IKEA (aka the decor G.O.A.T) and browse their artificial flower collection. Their artificial plants are great quality for a low price. With their attention to detail there is now way your home will look anything but fancy-pantsy when you incorporate them into your design.
What You’ll Need
3 SMYCKA Roses: £3.50 each
1 jar of KULÖRT crushed glass in white:£1.75
1 REKTANGEL vase: £2.50
What To Do
1. Measure your flower stem against the vase to see how long you’ll need it to be. Give yourself a few extra centimetres so that there’s room in the vase for all of the roses and if it’s too long you can always bend it. Better to have too much than not enough (that’s what she said).
2. Snap off (or cut it off with scissors if you’s a boujee heaux) the excess stem. I used my hands (coz I‘m trill) by bending the area and rotating it until it snaps off.
3. Pull off the leaves from the base of their stems (super easy) and put them to one side.
4. Repeat the previous steps for each of your flowers.
5. Empty half of the crushed glass into your vase (or more, or less…totally up to you).
6. Arrange the leaves around the perimeter of the vase.
7. Add the flowers, making sure to push them deep (that’s what he said…lol sorry not sorry) into the crushed glass.
8. Fiddle with their arrangement until they look the way you like.
And voila, bitch, that’s it! Now you are fancier than you were before. Put it somewhere so that everyone can see your elegant creation, think of how fancy you are, and wish they could be on your level.
Hope you enjoyed that lil GIY. If you decide to make your own GIY floral centrepieces, make sure to tag a heaux (@scottyunfamous on all social media) and use the hashtag #GIY. I’d love to see what you create.
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Love Scotty x